Words are what comes out the moment our mouth opens to say something.
Something can be a lot of things. It can be positive, kind and thoughtful. It can be the opposite, negative, unkind and hurtful.
Words whether good or bad always make an impact from the deliverer to the receiver. It can induce different kinds of emotions such as happiness or sadness. It can send one laughing, crying or shouting. It can make a person calm or angry.
It can destroy one’s dream. It can make a big impact on the person's life.
Words after being said cannot be retrieved anymore. It is like time that cannot be taken aback. And that’s why we were taught that we have to be very careful with what we say.
Although if words are being said badly, a person can take it back by saying sorry but the damage has been done, sometimes it still leaves a mark in the person’s heart.
Each of us is unique. There are people who always say something good and positive. But there are also people whose words are meant to hurt which can destroy the person's spirit. Humans can be weak and strong.
Ever heard the saying “ I am only human“. This is oftentimes used to excuse oneself when at fault or has made a mistake. Words can make or break us. It can make an impact to you, to me and to everyone.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s said to oneself or someone has said it to you, one way or another, it will make a difference and can affect us.
This has been proven so many times that words when spoken repeatedly tend to bring the result of what one expects or how one visions it to happen.
Here is a story based on my friend's experience about one of their clients where she worked as a health care assistant in a nursing home. Her name is Theresa.
According to Theresa:
I met Mrs. A. at the second day of my work. She was sitting in a wheelchair, half of her body was paralyzed due to a brain attack. I can tell she was not a happy woman. She seldom smiles.
The first time I assisted her was when she called for help to go to the toilet. During those times I was always assigned as the bell person. I had 2 bell phones with me and has to answer the calls of the clients. It was either assisting them to pee or poo or anything they need that required help.
Unfortunately I wasn’t given orientation on how to work on her wheelchair which was kinda hard to set up again when the two things that supported the feet had to be taken out and she had to sit in the toilet bowl. So I was having difficulty and Mrs. A was annoyed by that. Not a very promising first encounter.
After introducing my name and always putting a sincere smile to her whenever I assisted her, I won her heart. She was always very happy if I was the one helping her with morning routines or every time she had to be assisted with the activities of daily living such as bathing, urinating and other related tasks.
She wasn’t happy with her life, she wasn’t satisfied with the care that was given to her. She was being well taken cared of just like all the clients there but I guessed one of her sentiments was that her going to the toilet was restricted. It was some kind of a “rule” that was imposed to her. And she hated and resented it.
Whenever I was working, she knew that she was free to call because whenever that was the case, I was always there to help her. There were times though that I was even being told to tell her that it was not yet time for her to pee for example and that she had to wait for the time that she had to do it which was ridiculous. How can anyone control the call of nature?
I can’t understand why that was done by the people who designed her care. People whose work was to give quality care to these clients. There was even a time I cried after work because I was feeling so sorry for her. I even called my husband crying while waiting for the bus to take me home asking why it has to be that way. I was very frustrated.
It went on and on, that was the way she was treated in terms of her bladder and bowel function. But not with me, because I know it was one of the important things that has to be functioning well to contribute to the whole aspect of having good health despite some alterations.
The words that came out of her mouth which was said almost everyday several times a day was
“ I want to die“…I want to die” … “I don’t want this kind of life anymore” . “Life like this is nothing. What's the use of living and having all these sufferings, I just want to die"
This was but just one of her resentments brought about by not being able to do a nature’s call freely.
She has only one child, a daughter who lives in Belgium and seldom visits her. This was also one of those things that made her very lonely that she doesn’t want to go on with life anymore.
I encouraged her a lot to think positively and look at life differently. I was able to make her smile and brought happiness during times when she was so depressed about what had happened to her.
I even questioned it one time with one of my colleagues and one of the answers I got was if she will be given the free will to ask for help, she will do it very often (which was the case before) and I thought because she was heavy and she has to be taken to a bigger toilet to do it, it was so much to do for the one who was doing it.
I asked myself " Isn’t it the reason why we are helping these people? Because they can’t function anymore like the way they used to, they are dependent upon the help of others.
Why can’t we help them the way it has to be rightly done? I guess this was also the question going on with Mrs. A’s mind.
One afternoon, she was found dead lying on her bed. The words that she kept repeating happened.
I wasn’t there. I found that out the next day. I wanted to see her for the last time but her body was already taken to where she has to be mourned for a few days and buried.
I was affected. I was very sad. I cried. She was probably happy that finally she achieved what she was saying to herself over and over again but of course she doesn’t know that anymore.
This was how my friend Theresa told me her experience about how words can be so powerful especially when it is said with emotion and belief.
Words have power. It has strong impact in our daily lives. We can speak words of encouragement or the opposite.
This was what the Buddha said about how powerful words are :
We should take care that we use it with caution because whatever we say especially when it is said many times over will more or less show up to how we believe it to be.
Will you choose to speak the language of love, kindness and encouragement?
You can count on me, I will do that more often than ever...